*Sigh*

That was a sigh mainly of contenement, for those of you sick of hearing me complain about my hectic life (thanks for the sympathy, marc-anthony) But, I just got back from the concert, which was quite enjoyable. It exceeded expectations. And I don't mean the content of the songs. Me and Jess took an early, nerve-wracking, over-dramatic tour of the high school- as far as we were allowed of course. The conclusion? It's much too big, I want to stay in Middle School, and our next vacation is to Neverland. I'm quite hungry right now, and I want to continue watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Can't wait for formal!!!!

Let's kick it!

Well, I've got a lot on my plate from now til the end of the year, and not much time to eat it. Case in point: I just printed out 23 pages of pure Regents joy, for some much needed practice. And that's not as good as it gets. I have a math final, a social studies final, a science test, a social studies test, the formal (social stress), NYSSMA, and the French proficiency. Oh! And I forgot. Hershey Park. That'll be the least stressful of the entire agenda I just rattled off. So for this week? Reviewing for the math final, working on getting through Animal Farm, squeezing in some extra Carnival of Venice practice time, a chorus concert tomorrow, and the formal on Friday, which I haven't bought a ticket for, and plans are still up in the air. AHHHHH! And since I haven't completely lost my head yet (which I'm sure is the Warwick Administration's main goal) why don't I go upstairs and work on some LOGIC HOMEWORK. Sheesh.

" For love of country, they accepted death" - James A. Garfield

Paraphrasing the inspirational words of Mr. Rauschenbach, before you cannonball into the pool, or squirt ketchup on your hotdog, remember what today is all about. It's about the valiant, self-less men and women who gave their lives for our country. (pssst. If you take a look at the most recent issue of TIME magazine, you'll find six heart-wrenching, beautiful examples of men who gave their lives days ago while on duty in Iraq.) Previously called Decoration Day, named for the decorating of graves on this day, Memorial Day is a fitting and well-deserved commemoration of those who gave their lives in service. It was officially proclaimed on May 5 1868 by General John Logan (commander of the Grand Army of the Republic) and it was first observed on May 30 1868 when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington Cemetery. In 1873, we were the first state to recognize the holiday. In time, the rest of the nothern states observed the holiday, though it took the south longer. It is now typically celebrated with a parade and various other celebrations, (barbeques, fireworks etc.) though few take the time to give thanks and reflect on the bravery and soul of our men and women in service, those that are now veterans, and those that gave their lives. So take a minute or two to reflect, say a prayer and remember.

In Flanders fields, the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow
Loved and were loved, and now we
lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch: be yours to hold it high
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies
grow
In Flanders fields.

This poem ( which was later set to music) commemorating the deceased soldiers was written by John McCrae in 1915. From this poem, Moina Michael, in 1915, came up with the idea to wear poppies on Memorial Day. This is still tradition today.
And I will leave you with that. Happy Memorial Day!

"Rather than alter our opinion, we distort incoming information in a way that makes it support our initial assumptions"

It's the monumentous subjects I often struggle with: the war in Iraq, racism, freedom of speech. I, along with the rest of today's youth, are so inexperienced. What knowledge do we have to go on, to form our opinions? Everyone watches the news. The experienced person can relate, the intelligent can only analyze. How can I take a side on the war in Iraq if I don't even know the whole story? If I don't know what the troops are facing everyday, or what goes through the President's mind every time he makes even the slighest decision affecting the war? Or how about the constant influxe of opinions from biased adults? Often times, their experience is their demise: or their fortitude, whichever way you look at it. Either way, they influence the youth. Sometimes its positive, sometimes its negative. I know that for me, I am easily swayed by well-supported opinions. But with the proper knowledge and way with words, anyone could have well-supported opinions, couldn't they? So ultimately, I have decided not to become rigid in my opinions, let some of the worldly knowledge and experiences wash over me in time, and then, in a few years, I too will have the knowledge and experience to form well-supported opinions. Another hint to myself? ( and anyone else struggling with the same issues) Don't bite off more than you can chew. We can observe, we can analyze, but if the issue is too large to comprehend, don't act on pre-conceived notions. And, if I've made any sense at all, the age-old lesson of: looks can be deceiving ties into this as well. I just tend to feel that not having an opinion makes me come across as unintelligent, or weak. I now know that this is not true. Now isn't that incredible? I just solved an issue within myself simply by throwing some words on a page. The astounding power of language at work again. And now, I am going to go eat pizza. See what I mean by not biting off more than you can chew?(and I'm not being literal) I'm not going to wallow in these thoughts the whole night.

Mr. Mesic.......is a nerd.

PLUTO..........IS A PLANET!
That's what we heard for most of our science class today, thanks to the Two Skinnee J's. They wrote the craziest song ever. For the select few that chose to be COMPLETE dorks (*cough* Marc-Anthony *cough* *cough* and me *cough*) we heard it afterschool also. This intense display of science geek power is not to be over shadowed by Interplanet Janet. Who is Interplanet Janet you ask? Well, she's a galaxy girl.

Cough, Cough

I woke up sick this morning, which is a phenomenon in itself, because I haven't gotten sick in months. As my mom so quaintly puts it, I am as healthy as a horse. But I won't bore you with my symptoms. I just didn't feel well. So I spent the day prettily lazily, as is expected. I slept, went outside, made brownies, watched T.V., read, went shoppping...jealous yet? I got great shoes for formal. Today I went shopping for the first time in my PJs. It's pretty freeing, you know, being so comfortable in a public place. Now my throat hurts, and I would be doing my homework if I had my ELA textbook. Well, better study up for the science quiz. Speaking of science, I felt like such a dork. I was lying outside, trying to figure out the position of the sun in relation to my position and the time of year. =) Okay, now I'll really go. I'm so excited for formal!!!

" Society is a masked ball where everyone hides his real character, and reveals it by hiding"

Expressing yourself is one of the biggest challenges of life. Especially when individuality and self-expression are being smothered everyday by the demands of our regulation world. And that leaves us with the rare, inspirational men and women who are able to express themselves despite all odds. It is sad to say that there are not many people like this in our world today. They all disappeared with the start of this generation. Take the corporate world, for example. Can you be successful and expressive? It is very difficult. Especially when there is someone above you telling you what you need to do in order to be successful. It takes a well-established career to rid yourself of the constraints previously tying you down. And what about in the childhood years? When self-expression carries has more labels than a grocery store. You are labeled as emo if you like black, you are crazy if you are too happy. And forget about indulging yourself in a passion. Congratulations! You've just gained nerd status because you read novels instead of playing kickball. In today's world, its just a landmark you have to pass: the landmark of being able to express yourself. But the strongest people are those who retain their individuality their whole life long, no matter what situation they find themselves in. I am feeling the first gentle tugs of the pressure to sacrafice my individuality. But I'll be like a magnet: I'll defy the gravity that pulls me down. ( Thank youuu Mr. Mesic) Its all really a question of self-affirmation.

My Fears

- That my best friend is going to grow up and away from me.
- That I'm going to be weak when I have to be strong.
- That my talents will go to waste.
-That I will take beauty for granted.
-That opportunities will slip right through my grasp.
-That I will underestimate myself.
-That I will not be able to help the world.

....That was extremely hard to do. It makes you feel so vulnerable. But who said I couldn't overcome my fears? Just thought I'd put them out in the open.

Imagery of the Evening

It is surreal outside right now. I felt like I was in another world. The landscape is alien in the most beautiful way imaginable.

The sun is a glowing orb of vibrant orange.
Paired with the grey clouds of a storm, of which only the undersides are illuminated.

Mosquitos buzz through the agitated air.
A light breeze chills the raindrops that tingle my skin.

Trees sway lightly in the stark wind.
Only the leaves directly facing the sun are lit up, glowing gold.

High, dark clouds give way to light, vibrant clouds.
The sun, a brilliant orb suspended in the sky, disappears behind the horizon, dotted with trees.

Fantastically Horrible

Meaning that I've been switching back and forth from good to bad. The first event of the day, guitar club concert, was great. Kerianne and I went crazy. What else is new. It was so much fun. not to mention invigorating, to completely let loose. We've been told we're too shy and reserved=) We were exhausted afterwards. As in, feet hurting, head pounding tired. This went for me, Meghan, Tessa and Katy. So we spent the remainder of 4th period relaxing in the band room, a.k.a. my second home. But, eventually we had to go to 5th period. I was in a really bad mood but I sucked it up and had fun in chorus. Social Studies was fine, and I found myself looking forward to watching West Side story in music. Since I gave poor Mr. Muelbauer no pre-warning, he was not able to stay after with Kerianne and I to practice for NYSSMA, which is already giving me the willies. I took Kerianne and Jess home, and now I have extensive science homework and dance. So really, its horribly fantastic.

"Grief can take care of itself. But to get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with"

I am blessed to have so many people to share my joy with. What a beautiful day it was, both physically and emotionally. I was able to spend the day at the Italian Villa with my mommy, of course, my dad, brother, sister, grandma and grandpa. Of course, it was quite bittersweet not to be in the prescence of such a ferverent example of motherhood, my great-grandma. With her passing away this year, it was our first mother's day without her. Nevertheless, the timeless message of embracing and appreciating mothers extended beyond the grief. We had a wonderful dinner,and it was beautiful to be together. The physical beauty of the day contributed to the warm atmosphere. Could it have been more spectacular? The temperature was perfect, and it was clear and beautiful. Of course, the day could not properly come to a close without homeade gifts that pulled at mom's heart-strings! That's where the kids came in =). As the day came to a close, I found myself anticipating being a mother myself someday!

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day"

It really is. I had so much fun at Memorial park last night. It was.......infamous. I saw so many people, and it was just a blast. When I came home, I saw Dream Girls. I woke up at 9:40. That far exceeds any time I usually sleep to. But it was nice. Then I had breakfast, cleaned my room, mowed the lawn and had lunch. I'm feeling pretty good right now!

Mommy dearest

By making a mother's day card, I really appreciated the role of a mother in your life. She's an irreplacable figure. The feelings are a bit to deep to duplicate in words, but my heart goes out to everyone who no longer has a mother, who has a bad/abusive relationship with their mother, or who doesn't even have a relationship with their mother. If I was in one of these scenarios, I believe I would live life with the feeling similar to missing an arm or leg, or even worse, just having a huge, gaping hole through your middle. As extreme as that may be, that is how I would feel, because my mother is such a huge part of my life, and I appreciate her every second, even the times when I am mad at her. That is a bond that can't be re-created or replaced.

Half-Day!

I love half-days. It's nice to be home with a whole afternoon ahead of you. Today's guitar club concert was so much fun. Not saying it went perfectly (Suddenly I See fell flat on its face. Literally, everyone was flat.) But we had a great time. Me and kerianne and cate and meghan were dancing with katy and emily and everyone else. We were trying to get everyone to clap. It was , for the most part, fruitless. Especially trying to get Mr. Rausenbach to clap. During our song, me and Kerianne jumped off the stage and ran through the audience. It was great. The faculty song was a blast for them as well as the audience. So, I had a great day. In fact, I took Meghan home, got to play with Baxter AND see her formal dress. (which is gorgeous btw) So, then I came home, had lunch and now my agenda consists of relaxing, making mothers day cards, and going to Meghan's softball game at 6:00, which should be great.

OK

Yeah, I'm feeling better. That last entry was really dumb, looking back. But, that's how I was feeling. I'm being made fun of for my Captain America icon. Ok, well, now its my self-declared bedtime. Good Night!

Grrrrrrr....

I severly dislike my hair. At the moment, I have no appreciation for the mop that's perched so unfortunately on my head. I tried valiantly for a half hour to straighten my hair, because its much easier to deal with that way. It was astounding how literally nothing happened when i ran the straightner over my hair. So, I just gave up, wet it again and let my incredibly annoying curls run wild. Not to mention, my mom is annoying me so much. What began as a satisfactory/ good day just took a wrong turn. Hopefully I will find something to redeem this frustrating past hour.
Wow. That was extremely frivolous and shallow, and it will never happen again!

Times Square can't shine as bright as you

That's such a sweet song! Today was a pretty good day. I miss Mr. Rund. Still. Oh well. He better come to visit.
I think I'm having writers block. Or there's just nothing to say. Today was gorgeous. You know, when I have nothing to say, I always end up writing about the weather! Maybe I'm destined to be a weather woman. Well, if something comes to mind, you'll know.

One night, yeah, one more time, thanks for the memories...

Ahhh, FOB. I can't stay away for too long! Actually, there haven't been many earth-shattering events since I last blogged. In fact, the only thing that has happened is that I finished my social studies homework. But then again, every moment is a momentous event. Think about it. There are so many things to be thankful for in one moment. You can be thankful that you have a house, that you're alive, that you have parents, food, friends. pets, clothes, a fully-functioning body (i.e. endocrine system, circulatory system, respiratory system, immune system) that you have the ability to walk and run and look at the stars, and ponder the rainbow, and stare into the sun, and count the petals on a flower. That you can breath unaided, that you don't live in fear of terrorists every minute. That we have a beautiful planet to live on, that you can wake up every morning in a warm bed and that you can go to bed every night with a full stomach. See? That's more than you can count on two hands. That made me appreciate my life. I don't know about you. Well, I have a math test to study for, America's Next Top Model to watch and dinner to eat.

Red Molly girls

"The pen is the tongue of the mind"

I kind of anticipated missing Mr. Rund this much. But, still. It'll be such a let down to come in tomorrow and not see him. He was such a great teacher. And really funny! And crazy. I just got back from taking a run. It's so beautiful out, not to mention the heat. My mom and I were talking about the fact that I'm a people person. In her words "You have a way with people." I'm not denying it! I love people! Except when they use atomic bombs to bomb Nagasaki and Hiroshima and cause people to vaporize, suffer from radiation and develop cancer. As you can see, the social studies lesson is still fresh in my mind. Speaking of school. I should probably do homework. Even though I'd much rather be sitting here listening to The Click Five.

LOOK!!!

Look at my new template!! Isn't it beautiful? It's all thanks to Marc-Anthony-Thanks you! His blog is VERY unique. I guess its a reflection of personality. I had a great day w/ Kerianne today. We made a huge card with tons of writing for Mr. Rund, as well as cupcakes that were supposed to taste like brownies, but instead, wound up tasting more like cinnamon. (My fault completely-i kind of poured half the bottle in ) they are still delicious. We had an amazing time decorating the box we put them in VERY extravagantly. I am so sad that he is leaving. I can't even describe it. It was such a great experience, having him in the classroom. The science testing today was easy, but very aggrivating. That's purely the nature of NYS tests. Well, tomorrow i have guitar club in the morning- 7:15 =(. But in the immediate future, I have to eat dinner. Oooh, next challenge for MA is teaching me how to post pictures and comments on other ppl's blogs. Good luck, buddy!

Some Thoughts

The sunset is beautiful. I don't know about you, but I prefer it to the sunrise. I just had a great conversation with the one and only Jessica. I love our conversations. We were talking about formal. I sometimes feel very shallow for talking about these kinds of petty things when the plight of others is horrendous. But its unavoidable sometimes. It's apart of this generation, just like cloche hats were part of the '20s. I am thinking of Caitlin so much. We're not very close, but I feel for her, especially at a time like this. I am sworn to secrecy, but she had to be admitted to a hospital. That's cause enough for concern without going into details. I need to step it up a notch if I'm going to send this quarter of the marking period with a bang. My grades are not horrible, but I know that they are not my best, and so I need to put in some more effort. That it not a difficult thing to do, I know, but it truly is easier said than done. We have a NYS test tomorrow, but I'm pretty confident. (At least, that's the mind-set I'm going for) The sky is fading into soft, cool colors. Sunsets are the perfect ending to each and every day. They were perfectly planned by God. They go with the mood and aura of the day. We are coming to a stop. The vibrant colors are softening, symbolizing rest and closing of the day. In the eyes of a true artist, the sunset can be searched through and through, to find every color, every thought, every meaning, every emotion that lies in the wisps of clouds illuminated by the ever shining rays of the sun. It has always struck me as especially amazing that when the sun is setting on the place where I live, it is rising somewhere completely different. The concept of this is beautiful. That there is always a place to start over, and we are all connected. We all see the same sun rise and set. We see the same moon, hanging, sparkling in the royal sky above. Now, with a closing question to chew on and process: if we are so similar on the inside, then why bother discriminating and being prejudiced because of what's on the outside? It is mind-boggling the thickness of the human mind- how we can be so set in our ways. Isn't the passing of time about evolving, and making changes? Will we never learn to embrace variety, and not to fear what we don't understand? It is a far-off dream for many, but certainly not impossible. I'm sure a chore awaits me, maybe setting the table. I wrote more than I intended =)

"Before your life flashes before your eyes, be sure you have a lot to look at"

What wise words. Excersising them poses the challenge. But isn't life one big challenge to test your limits? The proverbial words are flowing out today, for no particular reason. Maybe it's linked with the nagging stresses that follow me as a result of added responsibility. Or maybe my run in with a bump in the academic road. Nothing I can't work past with a little help from my family and friends. I actually have a human diary that I also like to refer to as my best friend...no, i don't think that does her justice: she is a body part- I couldn't live without her. Her name is Jessica McClelland. And being the creative dreamer that she is, it's not too hard to figure out who introduced me to the vast world of blogging. I hope that this blog will provide me with somewhere to place baggage at the end of the day. Or to express joyful emotions. Don't get me wrong, this blog won't always be chock full of these flowing, imaginative, insightful words. Often times, the reader will be blasted with a tidal wave of 100% teenage girl emotion. But don't get discouraged: it will soon pass. But, before my procrastination gets out of hand, I must do my science homework. Until next time!