of music, parties and memories

Two of my best friends celebrated their sweet sixteen tonight...time is flying by. i'd love to catch it in a jar and keep it just the way it is, forever. this may sound cheesy but as we were dancing and singing to build me up buttercup, everyone's faces looked so happy and free and as i looked around, i saw old friends that i'm so happy i still have in my life. a few people that were in lakeside with us have long drifted from the group, but that's how life goes. those who remained are certified beautiful people. and i hope they stay with me forever, if only to drift on and off the path of my life. so tonight, i have much to be thankful for. you might think i'm crazy but up until now, for the past week or so, i was willing to trade my life for anyone's. anyone's in the world. i was so restless and frustrated. i felt pointless and hopeless. i found myself so disconnected from life and just genuinely unhappy. because my life seemed so small and i constantly saw people on TV, in magazines, who led such big lives. and i wanted to replicate their lives. but then i heard on the radio, someone say "i believe that everyday life is extraordinary" and i realized, it truly is. and so, for right now, i'm content. the lure of stage life, fame, whatever you want to call it, is still there. but instead of a nagging pressure, it's more of a dull pulse. because there are so many little things i take for granted that constitute a beautiful and worthwhile existence. and i can definitely handle that.


1)good friends playing great music late at night
2)growing up and out
3)being appreciative (i'm appreciative for being appreciative haha)
4)beautiful, often overlooked blessings like having a family to come home to, a school to go to(i know, i know) and horizons to work towards.
5)a heart heavy with joy