What a beautiful thing!

After reading my sweetheart jess's blog, I am 100% joining in. I think thats a wonderful thing and i try to sometimes do it on my own, but its going to be great to get it all down in writing. I wish i had been home to start on thanksgiving day, but since there are reasons to be thankful everyday, now is as good a time as ever. so here goes:


1) my family, who fights a lot but always loves each other
2) my cozy house =)
3) my kitties
4) my health (not everyone can say the same)
5) my beautiful friends


my thanksgiving was really beautiful because i got to share it with my family. we're defenitely an odd bunch, but then again, every family has their quirks. my mom, mariel, julian and I went down wednesday to cook and help out our grandma. it was pretty rewarding to put everything on the table and know that we had helped. so we ate a lot, watched football, prayed and had fun.


i want to get that little icon thing that jess has so i can be all official. i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and watched the jonas brothers. 'night!

We're all too small to talk to God

I've picked up on a slightly new outlook about myself as of lately. Brought on by nothing other than my own personal development, I've started to see all these little ups and downs as all part of a much, much bigger picture. I've always believed that as a philosophy, but now I'm subconciously putting it into play. As I'm going through a rough time, I'm able to project to future results and clearly focus on the actual severity of the issue. This causes my reactions to be much less intense. I realized a few years ago that one bad test grade is not the end of the world (I say this because before, I really did believe that a bad grade would make the world fall apart). As of this year, however, I really feel it. This is not to say that I don't care. Or that grades don't matter to me. But I am by nature a very emotionally reactive and pesimistic person. So this approach helps me to quell some unnecessary emotions. After all, in a few years even the biggest obstacles will be conquered road blocks. I still put my heart and soul into all worthy pursuits, but with a few less nerves and a lot more insight.

Ugh

I don't wanna go to school. But what else is new. Things could be worse! I'm running around looking for an outfit cause i actually have to go on the bus tomorrow so i can't spend time doing that in the morning. I have to take the bus cause my mom and my sister are currently in buffalo on a college visit at Canisius. They'll be back Monday evening. On my plate tomorrow is a vocab quiz, bagels in O' Connors =) and playing at the board meeting with the jazz band. I want musical rehersal to start!! which reminds me "murder takes the stage" was really good!

Live and Learn

two very important words that kind of summarize the past two stressful days. I've rehashed it so many times in my mind and I'm just point blank tired of thinking about it. I think, in retrospect, it was one of the greatest learning experiences I've had. It's funny how what I got out of the whole thing was bigger and more meaningful than the whole situation itself. I've learned to trust my instincts because they tend to be right. I've learned more about the people around me then I would have ever known. I realized how blessed my life is and how much I enjoy where I'm at right now, despite the obvious ups and downs. Because they seem to just contribute to the whole aura and the memories that I'm forming. I tend to do things for other people. I have this nasty habit of putting myself in the other person's shoes and acting from that. But this time I did what felt right, what made me happy. I wasn't selfish or cruel about it. I was real about it. I appreciate so much everyone that gave me even the tiniest bit of advice. Every little bit showed how much you care. Or at least pretend to ; ) Through this little ordeal I also learned how much of life I still have yet to live and how much I have yet to experience. Furthermore, I came to the conclusion that the relationships I have with my friends, family and God are the only ones I need and want right now.
So since the theme is "moving on," I want to move on to my life in the near future. I successfully finished my chemistry lab, I have study hall tomorrow to do my math in, "The Scarlet Letter" is staring me down, a book I plan to read but haven't had the patience to sit through for more than a few pages, I have jazz band tomorrow which, if i can scrounge up some money, will hopefully be followed by Hunan Wednesday, and apparently Taylor Swift's new CD is amazing. I had to start a new sentence cause I didn't want to be the culprit in a run-on sentence crime. I really want to watch a Charlie Brown movie tonight, Thanksgiving is in 15 days, which means Mark and Wayne are coming home! and I really hope I make drama because I'm soo excited to be in it. I have to take a shower now and help out with dinner. So expect another post in the next few days!

The Power of Music

Music is so incredible. Musical prodigies are consumed by it, musical enthusiasts live for it, musical performers make it their lives and everyone is moved in some way by music. Classical music can transport you to past eras, contemporary music brings you to a fantasy world or helps you cope with your own world. Music itself can act as a catalyst, producing completely unexpected reactions from the most predictable of people. Music can make or break a person's life. Music can provide hope for an individual in the most despairing of conditions. People go crazy for music. It is surrounding us at all times. A beautifully orchestrated piece of music gives me shivers. Playing music makes me feel like a different person. A more powerful person, a more wordly person. I can't fully explain what music is to the human race. But in my opinion, it is one of the more formidable building blocks of society. What life would be without it, I can't even imagine.

Binary Solo

Hey everyone! If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?....haha what a stupid question. I hate it. Anyway, I had a good day off. I slept over Jess's last night which was fun, as usual. I have a new favorite band <3 and I'm pretty happy! It seems like things are finally working out. But I'm not gonna say anything hastily and then regret it.

So I'm really looking forward to my birthday. I'll finally be like a normal age. Even if its just for a few weeks. Then I'm the baby again. I'm excited for Applefest and Jess's sweet 16 and Mariel (hopefully?) getting her liscense. Cross your fingers!

As expected, I'm really not excited to go back to school cause I have an annoying next three days. But I'll make it bearable somehow. Leave me a comment, or somethin.

Just a lil something for the ride =)

Essay writing is both a joy and tribulation in my life. If the task is clear and the reason for writing legitimate, I can write for pages and pages, whether I believe in the subject or not. But after a while, the well runs dry and I'm left with stale ideas, lame connecting sentences and a tired forearm. What does this relate to? I'll give you a hint: it's not the meaning of life. Nope, it's just the dozens of essays we have to write for english. Grrr I've never watched the clock so closely in my life. The prospect of sitting for 6 hours in June and writing 4 consecutive essays chills my blood. Although despite the complaning, the english regents will most likely be the easiest of the four regents exams that I'm taking at the end of this year. The joy and anticipation are overwhelming...