My Fears

- That my best friend is going to grow up and away from me.
- That I'm going to be weak when I have to be strong.
- That my talents will go to waste.
-That I will take beauty for granted.
-That opportunities will slip right through my grasp.
-That I will underestimate myself.
-That I will not be able to help the world.

....That was extremely hard to do. It makes you feel so vulnerable. But who said I couldn't overcome my fears? Just thought I'd put them out in the open.

Imagery of the Evening

It is surreal outside right now. I felt like I was in another world. The landscape is alien in the most beautiful way imaginable.

The sun is a glowing orb of vibrant orange.
Paired with the grey clouds of a storm, of which only the undersides are illuminated.

Mosquitos buzz through the agitated air.
A light breeze chills the raindrops that tingle my skin.

Trees sway lightly in the stark wind.
Only the leaves directly facing the sun are lit up, glowing gold.

High, dark clouds give way to light, vibrant clouds.
The sun, a brilliant orb suspended in the sky, disappears behind the horizon, dotted with trees.

Fantastically Horrible

Meaning that I've been switching back and forth from good to bad. The first event of the day, guitar club concert, was great. Kerianne and I went crazy. What else is new. It was so much fun. not to mention invigorating, to completely let loose. We've been told we're too shy and reserved=) We were exhausted afterwards. As in, feet hurting, head pounding tired. This went for me, Meghan, Tessa and Katy. So we spent the remainder of 4th period relaxing in the band room, a.k.a. my second home. But, eventually we had to go to 5th period. I was in a really bad mood but I sucked it up and had fun in chorus. Social Studies was fine, and I found myself looking forward to watching West Side story in music. Since I gave poor Mr. Muelbauer no pre-warning, he was not able to stay after with Kerianne and I to practice for NYSSMA, which is already giving me the willies. I took Kerianne and Jess home, and now I have extensive science homework and dance. So really, its horribly fantastic.

"Grief can take care of itself. But to get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with"

I am blessed to have so many people to share my joy with. What a beautiful day it was, both physically and emotionally. I was able to spend the day at the Italian Villa with my mommy, of course, my dad, brother, sister, grandma and grandpa. Of course, it was quite bittersweet not to be in the prescence of such a ferverent example of motherhood, my great-grandma. With her passing away this year, it was our first mother's day without her. Nevertheless, the timeless message of embracing and appreciating mothers extended beyond the grief. We had a wonderful dinner,and it was beautiful to be together. The physical beauty of the day contributed to the warm atmosphere. Could it have been more spectacular? The temperature was perfect, and it was clear and beautiful. Of course, the day could not properly come to a close without homeade gifts that pulled at mom's heart-strings! That's where the kids came in =). As the day came to a close, I found myself anticipating being a mother myself someday!

"Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day"

It really is. I had so much fun at Memorial park last night. It was.......infamous. I saw so many people, and it was just a blast. When I came home, I saw Dream Girls. I woke up at 9:40. That far exceeds any time I usually sleep to. But it was nice. Then I had breakfast, cleaned my room, mowed the lawn and had lunch. I'm feeling pretty good right now!

Mommy dearest

By making a mother's day card, I really appreciated the role of a mother in your life. She's an irreplacable figure. The feelings are a bit to deep to duplicate in words, but my heart goes out to everyone who no longer has a mother, who has a bad/abusive relationship with their mother, or who doesn't even have a relationship with their mother. If I was in one of these scenarios, I believe I would live life with the feeling similar to missing an arm or leg, or even worse, just having a huge, gaping hole through your middle. As extreme as that may be, that is how I would feel, because my mother is such a huge part of my life, and I appreciate her every second, even the times when I am mad at her. That is a bond that can't be re-created or replaced.

Half-Day!

I love half-days. It's nice to be home with a whole afternoon ahead of you. Today's guitar club concert was so much fun. Not saying it went perfectly (Suddenly I See fell flat on its face. Literally, everyone was flat.) But we had a great time. Me and kerianne and cate and meghan were dancing with katy and emily and everyone else. We were trying to get everyone to clap. It was , for the most part, fruitless. Especially trying to get Mr. Rausenbach to clap. During our song, me and Kerianne jumped off the stage and ran through the audience. It was great. The faculty song was a blast for them as well as the audience. So, I had a great day. In fact, I took Meghan home, got to play with Baxter AND see her formal dress. (which is gorgeous btw) So, then I came home, had lunch and now my agenda consists of relaxing, making mothers day cards, and going to Meghan's softball game at 6:00, which should be great.